Lasting Connections Kill my Cravings

My past sponsor shared this article with me. The writer apparently knows addicts and grew up around addiction, so I think he relates well to those who have also been affected by it.

The author insightfully concludes—and I paraphrase—that addicts respond positively to love and social engagement, not ultimatums and threats of cutting off contact. As I consider my reasons (i.e. triggers) for seeking out pornography, I find that the writer’s insights are true.

(Please note that I don’t think a spouse’s or significant other’s consideration to end a relationship equivalent to motivation by fear. I feel that spouses of addicts always have the truthful right to end harmful relationships when necessary. They certainly aren’t obligated to remain victims of abuse, lies, and the other results of addiction.)

The most powerful antidote to my addiction has been Love. Not just a periodic, “I love you, Michael! You can do this!” but more particularly, acts of love. Learning to see and properly interpret the genuine expressions of love from people in my life has been surprisingly challenging for me, but it’s also changing everything for me!

I find that the more I focus on building relationships, the less I obsess with destructive thoughts and behavior. Restoring and creating meaningful relationships fills my heart. Its effects are real and lasting, not counterfeit like pornography’s.

It’s interesting to me… I’m learning that I crave my addiction when I’m actually craving an emotional connection. Pornography simply cannot provide that.

Of course, this is easier understood when I’m not experiencing withdrawal or intense emotional pain. For this reason I find it helpful to proactively engage in building sincere friendships and familial relationships. And in the moment of crisis, a simple phone call does wonders.

Click here to read the aforementioned article.

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Free Webinar: Understanding Trauma of Spouses and Loved Ones

I saw this announcement on a recovery blog today:

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WHAT: Understanding Trauma of Spouses & Loved Ones
WHEN: Friday, May16th at 1pm MST
WHERE: Anywhere.  The beauty is you can listen wherever you happen to be on Friday at 1pm.  You can use your phone, laptop or tablet to listen and participate.   

**Help someone you know register for the class.  I have a whole pile of people in mind too.  You won’t be disappointed.  Dr. Skinner is not only deeply knowledgeable and compassionate, he is also clear about how to help. **
 
Register here
 
 
ADDO’S CLASS DESCRIPTION: 
When someone has a sexual or pornography addiction the whole family hurts. The betrayal can lead to intense heartbreak and trauma experienced by spouses and loved ones. This trauma can be emotionally and physically devastating. The webinar will focus on understanding what spouses and loved ones are experiencing and how to best advise and support them. Specifically we will be discussing: 
 
1. What is betrayal trauma?
2. What are the signs of betrayal trauma?
3. Do they need more than you can give?
4. What should the expectations be for healing?
5. When and where can you send them for proper help? 
 
During this webinar we will take an in-depth look at the impact sexual or pornography addiction has on the family, specifically spouses. The webinar will be conducted by Addo Recovery’s Clinical Director and best selling author of Treating Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools For Recovery, Dr. Kevin Skinner.
 
The webinar will be held on Friday, May 16th at 11am Mountain Daylight-savings Time (click on the ‘Register Here’ link above to view the time in your time zone). There will be time for Q&A. If anyone has any specific questions that they would like Dr. Skinner to address they can submit them to AdvisorSupport@AddoRecovery.com.
 
The training will be recorded, so if someone is unable to participate live it will be available for playback. If they would like to receive a link to the recorded presentation they will need to register.