As an addict I watch this video and I can’t help but think of the frustration and despair that accompanies relapse, especially while sincerely striving to abstain.
If you’re not an addict or if you’re an addict who doesn’t know this yet, please know that I’m talking precisely about a lack of willpower. By definition, addicts don’t have willpower sufficient to stop ourselves from acting out.
“Step 1: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions…”
Eventually I had to come to terms with that statement. It took me almost two years of attending recovery meetings weekly.
I once heard a man in a recovery meeting describe how an addict can overcome addiction on his own, i.e. without working the steps:
“Overcoming an addiction with willpower is as effective as dismissing a stomach flu with intense focus and determination.”
I tried that countless times. Daggon addiction wouldn’t go away. Eventually it broke me. Thankfully my Higher Power was there when I finally gave up trying to do things my way. He lovingly invited me to try His way. Since then, my family and I have been experiencing lasting recovery.
The video above brings to mind so many memories of failure and relapse… so many memories of repeat confessions and bitter, tear-filled prayers… so much pain and despair.
Since I admitted defeat and began working the steps God’s way, peace has replaced turmoil, hope has replaced despair, and love has replaced fear, all thanks to my Savior.
My sponsor sometimes refers to his Savior as his Deliverer. I really like that description!
If you haven’t reached a point in your life where you feel peace instead of pain, please know that there is hope. I got my hope from fellow addicts in recovery meetings. I heard their stories and slowly began to consider, “Could that happen for me? Could I recover? Could I be healed?”
Now I know that it can happen for me! I can recover. I can be healed. My Higher Power provides that blessing. I’m learning to receive it from Him daily, twenty-four hours at a time. I’ll gladly and gratefully take another twenty-four.